Helping People with Migraine to Gain from Your Presence

Over-sensitivity to Light & Sound is Often Present in Those with Migraine

It was the first day of my college hostel life and I was the roommate of a girl who suffered from migraines almost 10 days in a month. Initially I cared less, took it to be a simple headache and did not even bother to ask her if she needed something despite the fact that she used to stay inside the room for hours together lying down, missing classes and suffering in pain. Isn’t it common that all of us get headaches and me, I suffer from sinus and spring back from a groggy head many times which makes me no different from her right? One day I suddenly bounced upon an article in a magazine that spoke about taking care of people with migraine and I was shocked to find that migraine headaches are one of the top 10 disabling conditions (WHO report). Slowly I started showing much concern towards her condition though sometimes I got it all wrong-comforting her with cranky sentences such as ‘It is just a headache. Don’t worry, it will disappear’ or ‘Forget about it, attend classes and divert your attention. Maybe you would become normal’ which aggravated her cortisol levels and put her off mood even more. But in a while I became adept in handling her, sometimes that she comes straight to me for motivation and care when she suffers from one of those migraine days.

Way Too Much than a Headache
Migraine is a neurological disorder involving nerve pathways and brain chemicals that can make the patient suffer from loneliness and isolation. It’s unlike any ordinary headache causing intense pain (mostly on one side of the head), heightened sense of smell, sensitivity and vision changes. The recovery period might take anywhere between few hours and days. Being near a loved one with migraine is taxing on the person staying with the patient too, as he/she is unaware of what exactly happens inside the patient’s body and also doesn’t know how to react to the situation. I hope you get an easy hold on handling your migraine-affected friend with more care and compassion after reading this article.
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1. Please don’t take migraines as normal headaches which is nothing more than pressure sensation felt in the forehead and neck.
2. Your beloved one is over-sensitive to even the slightest music coming off your television or hates the chandelier lights in your living room. Even laughing or your perfume can irritate them
3. Migraines trigger a plethora of emotions, mood swings and changes in your reactions to people/instances in life. The last thing that such a person would like to hear is a comment on their attitude. Even if you cannot be supportive of their emotions or free their schedule for the day, at least don’t spoil their mood even more by commenting inappropriately.
4. Though getting up and moving around is an immense chore by itself some of them with migraine do so as they have learnt to complete their chores with the pain and its mostly those with chronic migraine-migraine that lasts for at least 15 days in a month. Of course. you cannot afford to skip work for such a long duration or even stay away from children fearing their giggles or tantrums in the house.
5. When your family member is down with migraine it is better to take up their chores and free their time. Maybe cook a simple meal, make the dishes, ready kids to school, get the groceries and give a head massage too to relieve pain sometimes. Please don’t suggest taking your normal headache pills as this irritates the person even more (your headache is in no way even a bit closer to the migraine pain he/she is experiencing). In short, don’t underestimate their pain and symptoms
6. ‘I understand’-this is a phrase that irritates anyone greatly. How can you understand someone’s pain until you have experienced it yourself? If you too suffer from migraine then its ok. Otherwise simply refrain from using this phrase as you really don’t know what’s happening in their mind and body. All that you can do is to give support, ask them what they would like from you and tell them that It would be back to normal sooner
7. Home remedies are not a problem but if you realize that your loved ones need the help of a neurologist to diminish the pain suggest it to them gently only after they have recovered from the migraine. Ensure that they don’t resort to self-medication every time they suffer from debilitating pain.
8. If you stay with the patient or be around him/her often at house/office it’s better to learn the triggers (https://time.com/5616125/migraines-how-to-help/) that cause maximum inconvenience to the one suffering from migraine attack. If bright lights disrupt their mood, try switching off the unnecessary lights in the house , if sound is a hindrance please avoid loud music or clumsy handling of vessels and if the patient can’t stand the noise of giggles or tantrums by his/her child it would be greatly helpful if you extend your help in babysitting the child for the day.
9. Also, please don’t say sentences like ‘Don’t eat chocolates, it will trigger pain’, ‘Involve in some engaging activity and you will forget the pain’, ‘You seem brighter in fact’, ‘Maybe you are stressed, try doing meditation’, or such ones. These might sound comforting and helpful to you but these put the patient in maximum distress leaving him/her with a feeling that its better off without you hanging around.
   
   

People love to help when in pain and look forward to telling comforting words and this attitude is commendable. But learning to say the right sentences and doing the right things is more important when you try to help people with migraine.

References
13 Things Not to Say to Someone with A Migraine: https://www.huffingtonpost.in/2015/08/04/what-not-to-say-to-people-with-migraine_n_4745863.html